BMW 13 72 1 337 162 "RUBBER VALVE" Duckbill Valve for Airhead Airbox

NEW ITEM ACQUIRED!

Item Name: The "Quack-and-Pray" Drainage Flap

Quality: Common (But hey, it’s better than a hole in your box, right?)

Description: Oh, look at you! Your vintage Bavarian beauty is leaking fluids like a geriatric mall walker, and you’re too cheap to shell out $27 for a piece of molded rubber? PATHETIC! Since you’re apparently too impatient to wait for the mailman to deliver Part # 13 72 1 337 162, you’ve decided to squirt some molten plastic into the shape of a duck’s face and shove it into your airbox. This is a TPU95 replica of the classic one-way valve used on Airheads from 1980 to 1996. It’s designed to let the "gunk" out without letting the "bad air" in.

Instructions for the Clumsy:

1. The "Trim": Take a pair of scissors and ever so slightly snip the tip. Then, take an X-Acto knife and make a slit. Try not to cut your fingers off; the System doesn't like cleaning up biological messes.

2. The Test: Before you shove this into your bike, put it between your pretty little lips and BLOW to ensure air escapes, then SUCK to check that you are getting that sweet, sweet, closure from these gorgeous flaps. You need to make sure the valve actually works.  WARNING: Do this before installation. Used motor oil contains known carcinogens, and frankly, you taste bad enough already.

3. The Squish: This isn't a "glove-like" fit. You’ll need to grab some needle-nose pliers and aggressively deform this poor thing until it pops into the airbox hole.

4. The Sticky Finish: If you’re worried about it being "loose" (we’ve heard that before), slap a dab of RTV silicone around the edge.

Stats:

• Oil Resistance: Depends on how much you trust your filament brand!

• Dignity: -5

• Resourcefulness: +2

Manufacturer's Note: Make sure you understand your materials and their limitations. If this melts into a puddle of goo inside your engine, don't come crying to me. I’m busy mocking other connoisseurs of Bavarian Berliner Goodness.

REWARD: You get a functioning motorcycle and the smug satisfaction of a DIYer. NOW GET BACK OUT THERE AND RIDE!