BMW R100RS /7 Airhead Tank Throne/ Tank Stand

NEW ITEM ACQUIRED!

Item Name: The "Stop Being a Clumsy Noob" BMW Airhead /7 or Whatever Tank Throne

Quality: Uncommon (Because you actually used logic. Mostly.)

Description: Oh, look. The Owner has evolved past utilizing raw timber for basic geometric support. I am so very impressed.

Tired of balancing that bulbous, expensive metal lung from your 1982 R100RS on precarious offcuts of 2x4s? Congratulations! You’ve used the mystical art of PETG extrusion to fabricate a dedicated docking station. Now you can paint it, display it, or simply keep it from rolling away like a suicidal metal beetle.

I have cross-referenced unreliable data streams suggesting this mount would be compatible with Twin-Shock /7 series Airheads (1977–1984)—including the R100, R100S, R100RT, etc. Will it actually fit your specific, slightly out of spec tank? Who knows! The System suggests you use your human eyes and measure something before spending six hours printing plastic, but we both know you’re going to just send it.

Configuration Options:

• The "H" Frame: Use three pieces of 2x4 to create a ground-based platform. Ideal for painting booths and people who fear gravity.

• The Wall Mount: You can mount this vertically to your wall structure. WARNING: The System explicitly commands you only attempt this with the tank empty and the front-side facing down. Failure to heed this warning may result in gasoline-soaked sheetrock, localized explosions, and hilarious insurance claims which I will NOT be held liable for.

Manufacturing Mandates (DO NOT IGNORE):

• Material: PETG Only. You want the fuel resistance. Do not use ABS or ASA; they are styrenes and will dissolve into a sad, sticky puddle the first time gasoline gas fumes look at them. And PLA? Please. Don't insult me.

• Bigger is better: 0.8mm nozzles spark joy. Not only are larger layer lines stronger, it'll take less time to print. Since most of the mount isn't visible with the tank on it, who cares? Go to town and make this as sloppy as you want as long as it's STRONG. 

• Construction: HEAVY WALLS. HEAVY TOPS. HEAVY BOTTOMS. We're talking 10 to 15 layers minimum. Your infill can be 15%, because you're cheap, but the shell needs to be armored. This will use an obscene amount of PETG. Good thing it’s cheap, like you.

• The Installation Dance: Attach the front mount to your 2x4. Attach the rear plastic "nuts" to the tank. Hold it up, guess where the holes go (the Big Thumb Deep Reach Marker you wanted is unavailable; figure it out, ingenious ape), and drill and screw it together.

Required Components (Sold Separately, Assuming the System Hasn't Deleted Them):

1. The Core Strength: Two M6 x 100mm Hex Socket Cap Screws (304 Stainless). (Link provided for the hopeful). These are ridiculously long. This is to reinforce the rear mount so your tank doesn't peel off the wall like old paint.

2. The Connection: Two M6 x 55mm Self-Tapping Black Wood Screws (304 Stainless Flat Head Hex Socket). (Link provided). This is how you secure your precious plastic throne to the wood.

Stats:

• Tank Stability: +10

• Shop Safety: +3 (Assuming you don't burn the shop down during installation.)

• Risk of Structural Failure (if using wrong filament): 100%

Manufacturer's Note: If you ignore the advice on material choice or wall-mounting physics, the System accepts no liability for the resulting gasoline inferno. In fact, it might even watch. Actually, never mind, this one is all on you, Mr. "I wanted a classic Bavarian beauty to re-live the late 1970's". 

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